Julian Smith recently posted a stunning piece that really hit home for me.
People have said that I am passive and not “manly,” assuming that my lack of interest in sports, indifference to cars, and aversion to facial hair condemns me to the category of men that spent too much time with their mothers growing up.
In reality, over the years I have learned to temper my aggression and confrontational nature, finding that its easier and more pleasant to just go with the flow and be accommodating. Seems like a good idea right? Maybe. I think somewhere along the line the original intention of not picking fights just made people assume that I was either less of a man or more of a pushover. Not true.
Lately circumstances have indicated that I am not being perceived how I want to be perceived – so, time to change. Along comes Julian’s blog post, cleverly titled “The Complete Guide to not Giving a F*ck.” Though I wouldn’t go so far as Julian did, saying, “It has made me a punching bag– a flighty, nervous wuss. But worse than that, it has made me someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything,” I will acknowledge that some have come to view me in a way that does not truly reflect who I am.
I believe things. Sometimes I’m not eloquent or profound about it, and I’m still figuring some stuff out, but faith is part of my life.
I have morals. I believe in compromise, but at a certain point there is a point where a quest for balance goes too far and you sell out on your values.
Loyalty and respect are earned, not given. Trust is a tenuous line, easily broken and rarely fixed.
I have goals and I work hard to achieve them. Sometimes in that struggle sacrifices are made and distractions and complexities get nixed.
All in all, I’m lucky to get an opportunity to start fresh, so I’m going to take advantage of it and build the life I want and include only the people that will be simple and positive.
“…and if I get aggression, I’ll give it to them two times back.”
The Clash — Hate & War