Ashes, Ashes

It’s Ash Wednesday again. Last year I had a bit of a spiritual crisis around this time and wasn’t sure how to respond to Lent; I even blogged about it here. I was in a relationship that I was beginning to have serious doubts about. What had once made me happy was turning into something unhealthy and depressing. To a certain extent the girl saved me, but when I got back on my feet and my head on straight I realized that our lives were speeding in different directions and we were only resenting each other more as time went on.

Now that I’m in law school, I have a specific direction and no longer feel like I’m just aimlessly floating along. In fact, the first year of law school is a little like being in an out of control roller coaster —  fluctuating between intense anticipation and vertigo inducing speed. Oddly enough, being back in school helps remind me of who I am, what I want, and where I’m going.

With my life finally stabilizing, I’ve found myself thinking about how I would observe Lent this year. My life is pretty sparse, but one thing came to mind: Netflix. I don’t have a lot of time in the day, but I usually put a movie or tv show on while I’m cooking meals, taking study breaks, or the rare occasion I actually stop working before I go to sleep. I’m choosing to sacrifice this in order to spend my time more fruitfully. If I’m taking a study break, I’ll clean something or play my guitar; if I’m cooking I’ll put on a record or an audio book; if I’m calling it quits for the night I’ll actually go to sleep when I say I’m going to sleep. With this I’ll make better use of the time I do have, so I can worry less about the time I don’t have.

Unrelated: My friend Matt and I were talking about this band today. Please, enjoy the best part of 2002.

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