As I prepare to move I have been scouring my room deciding what to take, what to leave, what to sell, and what to trash. Between my mattress and box spring I found several water color paintings that had been done by a young woman I loved very much. What am I supposed to do with these? Obviously I’m not going to take them to my new apartment and mount an ex’s artwork on my wall, but I really don’t want to throw them in the trash either.
I’ve spent years of my life sleeping on top of these memories, divided on whether to destroy them and pretend it never happened or remember the good times and continue to exist alongside artifacts of a relationship five years dead. Ironically, even while pondering these questions, I used and old guitar during lessons and a student asked about the pink ribbon tied to the strap – another relic of the girl with the water colors.
That relationship was an entire life ago. The pain is over, she is married and happy: I have finished college and am continuing my education and career… but it’s hard to find the balance between glossing over almost a decade of my life and hanging on to things of the past.